I am the daughter and one of the main carers for my 90-year-old mother. My mother was diagnosed with dementia in 2015. In this article, I reflect on dealing with my mother's progressive disability, with a focus on one experience. I explain why I believe withholding the truth is sometimes an acceptable, or even a preferable, course of action. The article illustrates how differing advice and lack of guidance about dementia diagnosis and 'truth-telling' play out in practice.