Karen's story: Cancer, coursework, and cake!

Karen Baker, recipient of a WELS Student Inspirational Achievement Award 2020, was determined to complete her Primary Education studies despite experiencing major health issues in the final stages of her degree.

After deferring for a year to undergo lifesaving surgery and chemotherapy, Karen returned to her studies earning straight distinctions as well as supporting other students on her module and continuing her treatment. 

Below, Karen and her tutor, Vikki Atkinson, tell her inspiring story in their own words... 
 

Inspiring or Perspiring?

Christmas Eve 2018 

Karen: “I’m sorry its cancer.” The words no one wants to hear, four little words that send your world into an uncontrollable spin. How I felt hearing those words was disbelief, shock and denial. I couldn’t have cancer. I’d just started a new module!

“Sorry, I don’t have time to have cancer. I have an assignment due; I got a distinction in the last one and I’m aiming for a first!”. The breast consultant sighed, “I’m sorry you may have to put that on hold.”

As my husband quietly drove us home, I texted Vikki, my tutor. I’m not sure why she became the first person I told. I didn’t need an extension for the assignment, the first part was done, and I just needed to write it up in my notes and submit the second part. I guess I needed to reach out to someone and with it being Christmas, all the helplines and cancer centres were closed. I cannot discuss it with my family. I cannot spoil my children’s Christmas. It turns out it was the best call I made!

Vikki: It was Karen. On Christmas Eve. What was going on? I knew she asked a lot of questions, but normally they came via the tutor group forum or email, not by telephone. Fortunately, Christmas isn’t my holiday, so it wasn’t inconvenient for me.

A tear silently slipped across my cheek while I maintained a stoic voice, asking questions about her cancer diagnosis, though she didn’t have the full picture yet. She was not only scared but despite her family around her, she seemed alone and scared. I knew I couldn’t make my excuses that day and hang up the phone. We talked for a long time, with and without tears, and the big conclusion was that she would take on both cancer and the module. Selfishly on my part, I wanted that student who earned distinctions to stay on board because her assignments were wonderful to read at times when marking could be quite the task.
 

January 2019 

Karen: Results are in: Nailed a distinction for my assignment - YES!!!!!! But damn, the cancer is more extensive than first thought, in both breasts, two very aggressive types of breast cancer (apparently very rare to have this. I knew I was special!), concerns of metastasis (not good) – straight to chemo, do not pass go, but do get a nice little port inserted in your chest (my son decided this made me like Ironman!). Although this isn’t the news I wanted, I will show them I am Ironwoman and power through. I need to stay strong for my family, be a role model to the children in school and finish my degree. Cancer isn’t going stop me. 

Vikki: I learned the finer details of what Karen was facing, and reluctantly mentioned deferment as an option, telling her she could use assessment banking to save her distinctions, but she kept going around in circles. Though she knew she was facing hell, she wanted to finish the module and her degree. She needed support to know that the OU would be waiting for her on the other end and to also make sure she got guarantees from the Student Support Team that she would be in my group again. Do you think I really wanted to give up a student like Karen? Yes, selfish!

February 2019 

K: Cancer has stopped me studying, working, and even taking care of my family, or rather chemo has. The debilitating side effects had me buzzing faster than a Duracell bunny for the first few days, comatose for the next 14, and left me with a total of four good days to study three weeks’ work in. At least the cold cap seems to be working, and my hair is staying put. After a tearful call to Vikki, it’s apparent I cannot continue, totally devastated. 

V: I received regular communications from Karen, some of them rather comical given her current state, but she was clear that she was enduring the unimaginable. Further, it started taking its toll on her children. I kept giving her the reminders that she was going to get past this, and that she was going to return to give me hell again (in the nicest possible way) and she kept confiding in me.  

I knew she was in touch with friends made in her e-group and they have stayed friends to today, forming a small alliance which is unlikely to disintegrate in future. I was glad she felt she could talk to me because illness and disability was familiar to me and, though I hadn’t had cancer, I could certainly empathise with losing what I once took for granted.
 

8th February 2019  

K: I phoned student services to defer and my hair is falling out in clumps; chemo is brutal!  

V: It was done. Karen had left the group and was missed by her e-group who benefitted from her drive to make sure everyone did well.
 

March 2019 

K: A cancer diagnosis is like an acceptance letter from Hogwarts. I enter a strange new world of hospital treatments, scans, and fellow cancer sufferers. Nothing is ever the same again.  

Wonderful WhatsApp is a lifeline back to the muggle world where I can chat to my friends from my e-group. It is the perfect distraction from my depressing situation that allows me to still be active on the module, if only in a very minor way, and still be Karen the student. 

V: Karen and I were communicating via WhatsApp, something that made it easier to respond when convenient for either of us, but also really helped as an outlet for her. I was so glad to use a method to communicate which didn’t mean waking her up at strange times since she was now in some of the worst part of her treatment regime.
 

1st April 2019 

K: Who’s the fool today? Results are in - I am a mutant! 

I have a Palb2 gene variant that predisposes me to cancer. It’s rare and only recently discovered. The letter from the genetics department is too vague and I need to know more. I no longer have access to the OU library, my go to. I’m feeling manic. There’s an article on Google Scholar that looks like it will tell me more, but it’s published in a medical journal that requires a hefty subscription, and I know it would be available in the OU library – Oh the frustration! I phone Vikki, maybe she can help. I must also plan a send-off for my tattas. 

V: I had a question from Karen, big surprise! She wanted a research article but couldn’t access it through the OU library because access to most OU resources, including the library, had been cut off to her completely. In five minutes, she had her article and was armed with knowledge for her appointment with her genetic counsellor. It felt good to be able to do something practical to help her. 

Soon after, I received a picture of a cake (in the form of a pair of rather large breasts) that she had sent me as part of her pre-surgery farewell party for a part of her body that identifies her as a woman. I had a great laugh over that despite the cancers that prompted the event.

May 2019   

K: To enrol or not to enrol; that is the question. I am still in chemo, and I’m very weak. My eyes water whenever I try to focus on anything, and I’m still only in the first phase of my 18-month treatment plan. Will I be able to study my module at the next presentation? 

Wait! I have two banked assignments that are distinctions! If I don’t restart my studies in October, I will lose them. Sod that! I’m not redoing all that hard work. I will re-enrol on the module. 

V: I was so relieved that Karen was re-enrolled. She wasn’t giving up, despite many statements to the contrary for months. I knew I’d have to get my pom poms and pleated skirt out to lead the cheers for quite a while, but I was happy to do it if it brought Karen back to herself and to study.
 

June 2019 

K: Surgery’s been delayed a month as I’m declared not strong enough to be operated on. Pants, not the news I wanted. Will this impact my return to study? Need to phone Vikki; I’m feeling quite anxious. 

V: Karen had several months before she would be required to take up her studies again. I kept telling her to keep her eye on the road, but not the finish line. She needed to focus on what was next and get past that.
 

July 13th, 2019 

K: Unlucky for some (sorry boobs!) – I endured a marathon 15-hour surgery, bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction, followed by a 10-day stay, compliments of Hotel Addenbrooke’s. I am now the proud owner of a pair of barbie boobs (pert with no nipples). At least no one will be able to tell if I’m cold!!! 

V: I heard from Karen that the surgery was successful, but recovery was horrible. She was tied down to a bed, couldn’t always get the help she needed from attending staff, and was in severe pain. I wished I could go to her, but a visit wasn’t welcome by the hospital staff. I was glad I had taken an opportunity to offer up some reading material as a gift before she went into hospital so that she had a reminder that I cared and also had something to do (which bared some relevance to her studies!)
 

August 2019 

K: The 3 Rs: rest, recuperate, and read. I cannot do anything! Not even pick up a kettle to make a cup of tea.  Time to read the book that Vikki gave me.
 

September 2019 

K: Recovery is slower than I was expecting. I still cannot drive, and fatigue is overbearing. I’m worrying about who I will have as a tutor since I was promised I would get Vikki again. I need it to be Vikki; no one else will understand. 

I phone Student Support and they reassure me I will get Vikki as my tutor. I text Vikki to let her know I have specifically requested that I am put back in her tutor group.  

V: Oh great! The troublemaker is coming back. Okay, so she wasn’t trouble, and she famously asked a lot of good questions, so I couldn’t wait to have her back as an enthusiastic student and supporter of her academic colleagues.  

We discussed it and determined that it might be helpful for her to ease back in again, reviewing materials and participating in e-groups before she had to really get back to her module commitments from January onward. The choice was completely hers, but I thought it could help her cognitively and emotionally to reintegrate into the module gradually rather than diving into the North Sea come winter.
 

October 2019 

K: Panic! Tutor groups have been allocated and I have not been placed with Vikki. I’m distraught because I cannot possibly explain to a stranger the trauma of losing my breasts or my cancer experience. I tearfully phone Vikki who has seen that I am not in her group and advises me to phone Student Support. This is a nightmare! I don’t think I can continue if I cannot be with Vikki. 

V: Hell! Karen wasn’t assigned to my group. I contacted my line manager who made quick work of getting things sorted so that Karen was assigned to my tutor group, especially since the module was starting in days and she really wanted to start with everyone from the beginning.  

I was incredibly grateful to my manager for her assistance with this and for recognising how important it was to both Karen and me for her to be in my tutor group. Yes, I was being a bit selfish, but had I been in Karen’s position, I would have been grateful to have the tutor who knew the whole story and who could provide continuity of support rather than taking an abrupt turn with someone else.
 

November – December 2019 

K: All is well, I have been reallocated back into Vikki’s tutor group. I have made the decision to be an active member of my e-group and take an active part in all the tutor group and e-group activities. I’m still suffering a lot of pain and fatigue, but I hope this will ease me back into a study routine in time for January.  

I’m also really enjoying working with my new e-group and supporting them as they complete their first two assignments. With the knowledge I gained last year, I can really support them to achieve higher grades. I am buzzing from the experience. I even submitted my own contribution to the collaborative tasks.
 

January 2020 

K: I’m in meltdown – assignment three is due in a week! I have studied all the module material, done my research, but I cannot collate my thoughts. I’m going around and around in circles! My brain is mush, I cannot keep track and I have a cognitive fog that’s impeding me. It’s late and I am at breaking point. Through my tears, I text Vikki on WhatsApp, ready to wave the white flag. I cannot see a way to finishing this module. I’m defeated! 

V: I saw it coming but was more than prepared to provide a special session to help Karen straighten out her thinking and practice.
 

February 2020 

K: After a very tearful late-night pep talk with Vikki and a one-to-one session the next day, we had devised a strategy to scaffold my study. My home’s walls now resemble a strange art installation at the Tate Modern, with crazy Post-it notes to my tomorrow’s self, reminding me of what I did today and what I want to research/study/write tomorrow, but it’s worked and what a result! Another distinction, I’m crying with joy! I can do this! I have my study mojo back- thank you Vikki. 

V: I was concerned about what I’d see when I opened Karen’s assignment given everything we’d been through, but upon opening her PowerPoint presentation and taking a glance, I breathed a sigh of relief. Karen was back! 
 

March 2020 

K: Coronavirus is making the news, and due to my ongoing treatment, I am now classed as extremely vulnerable and told to self-isolate. I have my last targeted therapy and the big six-monthly bone strengthening infusion. I didn’t think I would have the big infusion because of COVID-19. All future treatment is now cancelled, and I start to shield for five months. This is not good news, but I must stay positive.  

I phone Vikki to discuss an extension for my assignment. I’m quite ill from this last treatment; it’s like a bad dose of the flu without the snot, yet I’m conflicted. I don’t want to fall behind schedule for the End of Module Assessment (EMA), and I’m wary that if I use the extension, I will be thrown off course for success. I decide to rush the question writing for the teacher interview and spend only an afternoon composing them. It’s only a small percentage of the total mark after all and I know I have a strong infographic. Oh God! I hope I haven’t made a mistake. 

V: Karen got her extension and proved herself once again. She is a trained artist, after all, and completing an infographic was a strong point for her.
 

April 2020 

K: Results are in: Distinction, but with a comment from Vikki asking if I had rushed the questions! Busted!  

Everyone is at home now and home-schooling is challenging as I marshal and support my 12-year-old and 15-year-old in their skills of self-initiated study. My 12-year-old has decided home-schooling is optional, and my 15-year-old is in meltdown. The GCSE teachers really are asking a lot when they set 10 hours of daily home-study.  

Hats off to the Year 7 science teachers who have taken the opportunity to offload the PSHE curriculum for Years 7 & 8, covering sex, into the home-study folder! I don’t think there is enough wine I can drink to numb the memory of trying to teach my son to put a condom on a banana! Thank god the End of Module Assessment was cancelled and I didn’t need to complete that in this maelstrom of teenage hormones!!
 

June 2020 

Vikki has sent me a cryptic message on WhatsApp, to check my email. It cannot be the module results as these aren’t due until July. I quickly boot up my laptop and as I read the email my eyesight blurs.  

The brief synopsis Vikki has written in her nomination for me to receive the Inspirational Achievement award has left me overcome with emotion. Seeing my journey through someone else’s eyes highlights the hell it’s been. For once I am completely lost for words (novel for me and also not ideal when being asked to write what this award means to me).  

As I collapse into a sobbing mess, my wonderful husband, my champion, once again scoops me up, and together with a glass or two of wine, we find the words that truly reflect how humble and honoured I would feel to receive this award.

October 2020 

Well, I won the award, and I almost held it together at the award ceremony although my voice did crack as I shed a tear or two. I still don’t see myself as an inspiration, with more perspiration these days (the joy of medical menopause).  

To me, The Open University is a lifeline, an escapism from my cancer reality and a tool to enable me to regain control of my life. There were many times in which it would have been easier to give up, but my stubbornness and Vikki’s continued support kept me going. 

Vikki is not my tutor anymore. Instead, she has been elevated to one of my closest friends. I have to keep her close because she has seen me at my worst and knows way too much about me to let her go. Sorry Vikki, you are stuck with me for life! 

It’s fitting that in Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I completed my final infusion (I hope) and can now be scheduled for deporting (porta-cath removal). I still have another 10 years of treatment to keep those pesky cancer cells from growing again, but I’m happy to announce there is currently no evidence of cancer in me and that’s far better than we could have ever hoped for in January 2019. 

Writing this with Vikki has opened up a lot of deeply buried emotions, but it has also enabled me to reflect on the amazing support I have been fortunate to receive.  

Cancer has changed me and my long-term goals. I no longer wish to become a primary teacher. Instead, I want to focus on childhood studies and research. I hope to complete my degree with a first and continue my studies to doctoral level, and maybe one day, I too could become an OU tutor and support others to reach their dreams.