This article reviews current policies and their impact on carers' lives, and highlights the potential limitations of a more personalised approach to care. Using some key research findings and illustrative case studies, the article argues that we should build on the achievements of the personalisation reforms, but not limit our ambition to offering individuals more choice and control over their services. Instead, there should be a focus on individuals achieving ordinary life chances and families achieving emotional and financial sustainability. For people to experience a truly integrated response to their needs, professionals must be able to achieve integration not only across service boundaries, but also across their responses to inter‐linked individuals. Recognising this lessens the risk of offering care solutions that result in trade‐offs between one family member's independence and another's.