The present paper describes conflicts of interest in families which include someone with intellectual disabilities. Data were taken from a study concerned with the 1995 Carers Act. The research examined the experiences and views of 51 families who had some kind of assessment by a social services department. Cases were analysed where it was found that carers, the people for whom they cared and the assessors did not agree about such conflicts. Assessors sometimes stereotyped families and spoke of conflicts of interest when the situation was more complex. In particular, the real conflict was often between the whole family and an inadequate service system that did not offer enough support or choices to the individual. Conflicts which had occurred were related to three major motives driving carers: (1) the need for a break from caring; (2) the need to speak for their disabled relative; and (3) their concern for standards of behaviour. The present authors report on how these situations were handled by assessors and conclude with some recommendations for good carer assessments which will help to resolve conflicts of interest. A greater degree of informed choice for individuals with intellectual disabilities will in itself resolve many potential conflicts of interest.