Research demonstrates that the family is the principal source of care for elderly people in case of disability or other needs. While considerable attention has been given to different aspects of caregiving, few studies have incorporated the adequacy of care provided by families. The purpose of this presentation is to delimit family aspects that we have been neglecting or we have preferred not to see which are relevant for the quality of life of the elderly. Three factors that are in the basis of the family care are examined: (1) The norms, (2) the feelings and (3) the personal competencies of the informal carer. Discussion will focus on the need of having a discourse about families enough informed to correspond with the facts and leading to a critical approach of elderly care. Also the policy implications and measures to be developed as programmes and services both for elderly and their carers, are emphasized.