This secondary analysis of qualitative interviews describes how older Swedish men approach the caregiver role for a wife with dementia, over time. An increasing number of male caregivers will become primary caregivers for partners living with dementia at home, and they will likely be caregivers for an extended period of time. It has been stated that caregiving experiences influence how older men think of themselves. The theoretical starting point is a constructivist position, offering an understanding of older caregiving men's constructions and reconstructions of themselves and their caregiver roles. Seven men, who were cohabiting with their wives, were interviewed on up to five occasions at home during a 5‐ to 6‐year period. The findings comprise three themes, me and it, me despite it, it is me, depict how these men gradually take on and normalise the caregiving tasks, and how they develop and internalise a language based on their caring activities. The results provide understanding about the relationship between men as caregivers and how this influences them as individuals. By careful attention to each caregiving man's individual needs rather than making gendered assumptions about men and caring, the aim of the caregiver support for men might best target men's own meaning to the caring in their the everyday practices.