This article reports on findings from a qualitative study, undertaken in England, which explored the experiences of 21 gay men and lesbian women who care, or cared, for a person with dementia. The aim of the study was to explore this experience through the lens of a person's gay or lesbian sexuality. The paper reports two related themes that emerged from the wider study – respondents' hopes, fears and plans for the future and, specifically, the way in which their caring experiences had coloured their views and expectations of how their own health and social care needs may be met.