This article reports on findings from a qualitative study that explored the experiences of twenty-one gay men and lesbian women who care, or cared, for a person with dementia in England. The aim of the study was to explore how a person's gay or lesbian sexuality might impact upon their experience of providing care in this context. Analysis of the data identified a number of consistent themes—carers' experiences of the early signs and symptoms of dementia, of receiving the diagnosis, becoming a carer and their hopes and fears for the future in light of their care-giving experiences. The article reports on one theme that emerged from the wider study—the strategies lesbian carers used to negotiate the complex and contested category of the ‘family’ in the context of their care-giving experiences. The findings highlight the variety of ways in which families, of both biology and choice, were central to respondents' experiences of providing care for parents with dementia and of receiving support for themselves.